I had this dream set to the tune of Air Supply's 1985 hit "Just as I am." It seemed like I lived and relived everything I did badly back in my life. I suffered humiliation and humiliating defeats at the hands of other kids at the San Marcos (CA) boys and girls club. I suffered stinging failures by my own hands.
I never won any quarters from Chuck. I never knocked down any cans with a ball. I failed miserably. My dad didn't have any extra money to give me quarters to go play video games. I was told by a kid that I needed to have friends. I never knew how to make any and I was a pudgy pathetic looking loser of a nine-year-old kid back in my day. To this day, I feel that way about me.
I felt just as bad about spending the last 7 months of 1985 living inside a small tube trailer. It was nothing special. It was merely home. The only good memories I have about it were having a portable heater on to warm me up and that I lived on site of an RV dealership next to a Burger King.
I wish I was a better academic student in fourth grade at Escondido Christian School. I felt like I got thrown into the wolves with difficult subjects like Bible, English, Reading, Science, and Social Studies. I would either earn a C or a D on my report card. I got plenty of F's during my day.
My dad did nothing short of humiliating me when I got bad grades. It was almost as if he got off on making me feel bad. The only subjects I was good at were Math, Spelling, and PE.
It's time for me to start putting 1985 in my rear view mirror. 1987 will take longer, much, much longer.
No comments:
Post a Comment